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writer: Steven Wright

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

Steven Wright

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”

Steven Wright

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Steven Wright

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Steven Wright

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Steven Wright

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Steven Wright

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Steven Wright

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Steven Wright

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you

Steven Wright
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